I heard a pastor say once that sometimes, if you are feeling restless and out of sorts (my paraphrase, not his words) that it means that God is about to make some changes in your life.
I feel out of sorts. About my writing. And about life in general.
And it can be an annoying form of limbo. Disconcerting. Fearful. Anticipatory too. Hopeful at times.
Most of all I keep wondering--"Okay, what's going on? What's in the offing here?" And I have no idea what the answer is. I must simply wait and be obedient to whatever the call is.
There are some things in my personal life I've been praying for for a long time. Will this be the year God answers those prayers? What about my writing? I broke down and entered a novel contest and a poetry contest--first contests I've entered in about 5 years or more. Will I receive positive feedback from those? Or perhaps the opposite end of the spectrum---will the feedback be not so great and send me back to the drawing board? Interestingly, I feel that this was the right year to enter those contests because I can honestly say I'm ready for the results--whether it's good or not.
Still, there's something bubbling under the surface in me that I can't put my finger on---something's cooking. I think 2010 will indeed hold some new revelations for me. I have no idea what, when, where or how. All I know is that there is something the Lord is trying to do in my life. And either I'm not listening carefully enough or He simply isn't ready to reveal whatever it is.
I'm just praying that when the time comes, He will find me ready, willing and obedient.
But as a control freak, I still wish I understood what all this under-the-surface stuff was about. *-)
How about you? Ever felt this way?