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Saturday, April 11, 2009

No Written Word = Stir Crazy

I had eye surgery on Friday morning. The doc told me I'd be able to go to work on Monday. It's amazing the things that can be done outpatient these days. But my eyes have been blurry for about 36 hours now and it's made me realize something - just how much time I spend with the written word.

Whether it be my own manuscript, books for research, leisure reading, or just reading email or the online news. When suddenly you can't read ANYTHING you realize how stir crazy you can get. Only late this evening am I now starting to having a few moments of visual clarity to see to type.

But it has been WEIRD not being able to have the written word in front of me. Friday night, I was so desperate for the written word that I opened up my journal in Word and changed the font to 48 point so I could write my journal entry and capture the day's thoughts. That one journal entry took about 20 pages, the font was so large. LOL! But it got me through.

I've also had withdrawal because I haven't been able to read the scriptures this last few days. I feel somehow incomplete without my daily scripture reading.

This forced downtime has also made me realize how busy I usually am. I joke all the time about wanting to find rich relatives so I can lounge around and do nothing. Well I learned this weekend that doing nothing is not my style. I've always been a nose-to-the-grindstone person, but I never realized how much until experiencing this cold-turkey stop of all motion and productivity.

But instead of freaking out about it as I have been most of the weekend, why don't I just realize and enjoy the sensation of a total slow down? Of having to listen rather then to see? Of a different kind of a solitude? So maybe I won't be able to see the words of the hymns on the big screen at church tomorrow. So what? Who knows - maybe it will deepen the experience for me being forced to listen more carefully to the words.

I just hope the Sunday School teacher doesn't ask me to read any of the scriptures aloud, or my blurry eyed interpretation could get interesting. 8-)

Either way, I look forward to celebrating Easter with all my fellow believers tomorrow. I've known the Lord for a long time now, but the more time that passes, the more boggled my mind is that Jesus made such a sacrifice for me - and for you. I just can't wrap my head around that concept no matter how hard I try, because I can only think in human terms. Only a most Holy God could make a sacrifice sufficient to save me. And I am so thankful that He did.

Happy Easter to all. As Dolly Parton sings in my absolute favorite performance of hers:

He's Alive
He's Alive
He's Alive and I'm forgiven
Heavens gates are open wide
He's Alive!
Sweet Jesus!

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